Healing as a passage through the life we have lived, and the life still unfolding.
Some paths become clearer only after we have walked them. My relationship with healing has been shaped by serious illness, cancer, surgery, chemotherapy, total body irradiation, bone marrow transplantation, and the long, often quiet journey of recovery that followed.
I remember fear and uncertainty, the strangeness of living in a body I could barely recognize, and days when my world narrowed to the next breath, the next treatment, the next morning.
Medicine and the people caring for me were essential to my survival. Alongside their care, I began to discover another dimension of healing: the relationship I was developing with myself while so much was changing.
I learned to notice the present moment. I listened to what my body could manage. I found that returning to my breath could help me remain with the day I was living, even when my thoughts were drawn toward an uncertain future.
Qi Gong, Tai Chi, yoga, meditation, visualization, prayer, acupressure, and tapping accompanied me at different stages. Their place in my life changed with my strength and circumstances. They offered ways of meeting my body, emotions, and inner life with attention and tenderness, alongside the medical treatment and professional care I continued to need.
Over time, I began to see healing as a series of thresholds. Each one asked something different of me. Some brought relief, others grief or vulnerability. Through them, I was learning to live with the person I was becoming.
Gentle Practices That Accompanied Me
These are practices from my own experience. Their usefulness, suitability, and meaning may be different for someone else. Physical practices especially need to respect personal abilities, medical circumstances, and professional guidance.
Breath & Presence
I returned to the breath as it was, noticing its movement and allowing my attention to settle in the present. On difficult days, even a brief moment of awareness could give me somewhere to rest.
Gentle Movement
Qi Gong, Tai Chi, and yoga helped me reconnect with movement and sensation. What was possible varied greatly. Learning to respect those limits became part of how I cared for myself.
Writing & Reflection
Writing gave shape to experiences I was still trying to understand. I asked myself: What am I living today? What does my body need? What am I afraid of? What is giving me strength? The questions could remain open.
Meditation, Prayer & Visualization
Meditation offered stillness. Prayer held feelings that were difficult to express. Visualization sometimes gave my attention a peaceful place to settle. Each practice helped me remain connected to what mattered deeply to me.
Gratitude
Gratitude came through small things: a person beside me, a kind gesture, a little rest, the light entering a room. I could acknowledge these moments while remaining truthful about the hardship I was living.
Nature
The sky, trees, water, and sunlight reminded me of rhythms larger than my immediate circumstances. Being near them often gave me a sense of space and quiet companionship.
These practices helped me remain in relationship with myself through treatment, recovery, and the many changes that followed.
What I Carry Forward
I share this part of my story as a hand extended toward anyone standing at a threshold of their own. Your experience may be very different from mine. Your body, your questions, your hopes, and the meaning you give to what you are living belong to you.
There may be support in being heard, in receiving care, in discovering what brings a little steadiness to the day. There may also be questions that need time.
I hope these pages offer companionship as you find your own way through them.
Wherever you are along your path, there is room for you here.